I can't take it anymore

I know how bad it feels when things go out of control and when you find that you are unable to take it anymore.

Certainly such an emotion results in a bad feeling that might not be tolerable for many But did you ask yourself that important question, why is your mind constantly sending you these bad signals? Cant it just suppress them or make you numb?

In fact it cant, Because its your mind’s way for asking you to take action.
Emotions are signals sent by the mind to ask you to take actions. If you can't take it anymore then your mind is trying to tell you that you must take actions right now.

If you cant take it anymore then take action

I can mention in less than 1 minute 10 of my friends who hate their jobs to the extent that they become depressed at the end of each weekend because they know that they are returning back to the office next morning.

Each of these people knows that he can't take his job anymore because he hates it but very few of them take actions regarding it. Its this suffering oriented mindset that results in letting you reach a state where you can't take it anymore.

When your mind finds that you are doing something that you absolutely hate it sends you some bad feelings hoping that you would respond by taking an action but what happens is that most people do nothing and as a result their minds finds no other solution but to make the bad feelings more intense until they reach the point where they cant take them anymore.

In my book In my book, The ultimate guide to getting over depression i explained how depression can only be the result of ignoring your problems and throwing them behind your back instead of trying to look for a fix. If you took actions to solve them your depression will ease the same moment you start.

Being in an abusive relationship for years or being in a job that you hate for a long period of time are examples of actions that describe how our societies taught us how to accept suffering and stop responding to our inner feelings even if we are feeling bad.

How to stop the suffering?

Of course you can't take hasty action like quitting your job or ending your relationship with someone but at least you must think of a long term plan that can help you change that situation you can't take anymore.

Don’t just ignore the messages sent to you by your mind just because everyone is ignoring them. If everyone is suffering because of his own choice to suffer then you should also make a choice whether you want to join them or not.

The key to stop suffering is to take an action, the first day I started working I started to realize that my freedom is much more important to me than the security my job provides me with.

I didn’t quit my job at that time but I promised myself that I will take a powerful action to change that situation. Within two years I developed 2knowmyself and I managed to make generate 14 times the initial salary i used to earn when I started working. Of course the bad feelings i used to experience at that time disappeared completely.

The moral of this story is simple; suffering will stop when you take actions and not when you wait. waiting will only result in letting the bad feelings intensify until you will become unable to take them anymore.

Feeling bad when waking up

Waking up feeling bad

How many times have you found yourself feeling bad as soon as you woke up?
How many times have went to your bed feeling good then woke up feeling depressed?

This article wont tell you to change the tone of your alarm clock nor it will tell you to think positively while in bed but it will point out to you all the possible psychological reasons that can make you wake up feeling bad so that you can avoid them.

Feeling bad when waking up

As soon as you wake up your mind makes two very quick checks, the first one is a check for any accumulated or carried over problems from the previous days and the other check is for any fears or future concerns that you have, If anything bad was found in any of the two checks then you will wake up feeling bad.

Lets assume that you had a breakup and then went to sleep, in the next day when you wake up the breakup will be detected in the carried over problems check and you will feel bad.

You might be telling yourself you “ hey, sometimes I do have no problems and I still wake up feeling bad” and you are right, because sometimes you may have an old problem that is buried deep by your subconscious mind because revealing it to you may cause you lots of pain. ( See when he deceives you)

These goals you failed to achieve 6 months ago, this bad habit you couldn't quit for years or these intense feelings of guilt are all examples of problems that could be buried deeply in your subconscious mind and that can make you feel bad when waking up.

Don’t underestimate the effect of accumulated emotions, in my book How to get over anyone in few days I described how accumulated guilt can affect your own behavior for the rest of your life to the extent that it can make you unable to get over someone that you loved for years. Not only this, but accumulated guilt can also result in making you fall in love with someone who looks like the person you hurt before even if he wasn’t a good match for you!!

The other check that is done in the one concerning the future, Do you have a hard task to do that day? Are you worried about the outcome of the meeting you have with your manager that day? Are you afraid of the future? All of these fears are examples of factors that could make you feel bad as soon as you wake up (see Tips for waking up early ).

Other reasons for feeling bad on waking up

If you noticed the state of your muscles when feeling distressed you will find that some muscles are contracting in an abnormal way.

If you ate lots of food right before going to bed then you might get a little stomach ache that fools your mind into thinking that you are feeling bad. The result is feeling bad just because of the physiological changes that happened in your body.

Starting to run as soon as you wake up is one of the things that could make you feel horrible on walking up, people who jump out of their beds saying phrases like “Omg I am late I am late” or “I will never be able to catch the bus” will also wake up feeling bad. Make sure you stay in your bed for 10 minutes before you jump out of it.(see how to become an early riser)

Finally, having a bad dream then forgetting about it in the morning could be one of the strong reasons for feeling bad on waking up, dreams affect our moods just like real experience does and so a bad dream in the middle of the night could be the main reason for feeling bad when waking up if no other reasons were there.

My advice is to learn how to fight your fears and worries and in the same time stop the negative habit of leaving accumulated problems behind your back, if you did those two things, you will rarely wake up feeling bad.

How to stop feeling down

Feeling down

The fast changing nature of emotions could in few seconds turn moments of happiness to moments of deep sadness. How many times you were feeling good then in less than
a minute you felt down?

In my article covering Mood swings I mentioned many of the reasons behind these fast swings in the mood and in this article I am going to continue the talk about such reasons.

The accumulation effect

One of the very powerful reasons that can force you to feel down is the accumulated effect of two or more unresolved issues.

If you were feeling good then in less than one minute you received some information about potential problems your mood will swing.

Suppose that you woke up feeling good and as soon you got out of your bed you remembered that you have an appointment after 20 minutes, this alone won’t make you feel bad but it will establish the base for which a pile of annoying emotions could be built upon.

Suppose that few moments later you found that the shirt you intend to wear was stained. At this moment you may feel very stressed and thus become vulnerable to wild mode swings.

In my book, The ultimate guide to getting over depression i explained how tiny events can result in a bad mood or even in depression if not dealt with properly.

You don’t have to lose your money in the stock market in order to feel bad because at this state you are in any tiny bit of bad news will spoil your whole day. Consequently, small problems alone never succeed in changing our moods, however, it’s their combined effect that can completely alter our mood.

How to stop feeling down

The best way to deal with this accumulated effect is to never allow the pile to be constructed in the first place. Usually when people face an unsolved problem they just move on without trying to deal with it because of thinking that it doesn’t cause them much pain but few moments later when another issue appears they start to feel bad and even depressed.

The advice I have for you is to try to deal with all of these small issues as soon as you encounter them. Don’t underestimate their effect because if they accumulated together they can make you feel really bad.

The major bad moods you experience may be the result of the accumulation of few unresolved issues of smaller size. I know that some issues can't be solved at the same time they are encountered but you must at least tackle the ones that can be solved.

You can also delay the process of encountering new information until you feel that you can handle more surprising news. For example, if you were waiting for a mail from the person who interviewed you that will determine whether you will work form for him or not then you should only check your mail when you feel like being able to tolerate more new events. If you were stressed or if were already feeling a little down then its better to delay checking your mail until your mood returns back to its normal levels.

How to Stop Feeling Sad

How to Stop Feeling Sad

Feeling Sad

Are you feeling sad?
I know how it feels like to live in agony and i know how It feels like to be neither happy nor satisfied.
But why do we sometimes feel sad?
Are these sad feelings nothing more than a result of a mood swing?

No they are not; these sad feelings are messages sent to you by your subconscious mind in order to motivate you to take an action.

Why Do We Feel Sad?

Sad feelings, like all the other emotions we experience, are an indication that something is going wrong in our lives. The root causes for sadness are uncountable but they can all be summarized under one big category which is the Unsolved Problems we have in our lives.

The more unsolved problems you have the more likely you will feel sad from time to time. Your subconscious mind always wants you to have a great life. If it realized that you have a big problem that needs to be solved then it will send you the emotions of sadness to motivate you to try and solve it.

You might be wondering what's the connection between sadness and motivation. In fact motivation can either be positive or negative. You can motivate someone by promising them a reward and you can also motivate them by threatening to punish them.

The good news i have for you is that you don’t have to solve your problems completely to feel good but you just need to take an action towards solving them. Once your subconscious mind realizes that you are taking the right steps to solve your problems then it will withdraw the signal of sadness.

The following example will let you know how communication happens between your conscious and your subconscious mind so that you understand your emotions more.

Your Subconscious Mind: Hey, you may not get a raise this year and you are not taking any actions so I am sending you some sad feelings to motivate you.

You: Oh my God, I am feeling sad, I am feeling sad. Why is this happening to me? God, why, why me??

In the previous example the sad feelings will certainly remain because you never understood the message nor acted on it. Now consider the next example where you actually started taking actions to get a raise.

You: I am feeling sad because i won't get a raise. Now i need to write down a plan to reassure myself and my subconscious mind that i will get a raise.

Your Subconscious Mind I can see you are taking actions so there is no more need for the sad feelings. I am withdrawing them.

As you can see your subconscious mind found no more reason to keep the sad feelings and so they disappeared. When you feel bad your main focus should be finding the root cause for these feelings then working on solving them.

Feeling Sad without Knowing Why

Feeling sad without knowing why is usually the result of having too many accumulated problems in your subconscious mind to the extent that you don’t know which one of them is the real reason for your sad feelings or depression.

Some people escape from their problems by using drugs, others escape from them by sleeping while a third category of people escape by going into a new relationship (see External dependency for more information).

There are hundreds of methods that people use to bury their problems deeper in their subconscious minds but the subconscious mind never gives up and it will always reply back by sending a more intense sad feeling in order to wake them up.

If you don’t really know what’s making you feel sad then start by sorting out all of the problems you have and then try solving them one by one. when you come along the one that is causing your sad feelings you will feel better.

Feeling Sad all the Time (For extended Periods)

Feeling sad all the time is one of the symptoms of depression. You may be feeling sad because you are depressed. Personally, I consider depression a message too telling you that hope was lost and that you should take actions to restore it.

In my book, The ultimate guide to getting over depression i explained how ignoring your problems and allowing them to accumulate can be the primary source for depression.

Some people face problems as soon as they encounter them, while others bury them deeply in their subconscious minds or throw them behind their backs. When they do so their subconscious minds usually respond back with depression. The key to dealing with depression is taking actions and not allowing your problems to pile up.

How to Stop Feeling Sad

Whether it’s an unsolved problem or whether it’s a problem that is buried into your subconscious mind the result will be sad feelings. The only way to deal with these sad feelings is to solve what can be solved and to accept what cannot be solved; only then your sad feelings will go away.

If you don’t like this approach then you can do it the other way around. You can start to seek happiness instead. This guide will tell you what you need to do in order to feel happy which in turn will drive sad feelings away.

How to Get over Bad Moods

Are you feeling down?
Do you want to get over this bad mood?
Do bad moods visit you often?

If you want to get rid of something then you should first understand it. Most people experience bad moods without even knowing why. They relate these feelings to the first thing that comes to their minds like a recent fight they had with their boss or just the stress they get subjected to.

In fact you might be feeling bad for a completely different reason than the reason that came to your mind and the key to getting over bad moods is to understand their root cause.

Getting over bad moods by understanding the root cause

Your current state of feeling is the result of all of the life experiences you have been through up until this moment. The fight you had yesterday with your close friend and the bad grades you got the day before represent only a little part of your current emotional state.

The good things that recently happened to you are also a part of this same emotional state even if you don't feel good at all right now. For example the complement you received today from one of your friends is a part of your current emotional state.

Summing up all the good and the bad things that happened to you will result in the resultant mood which is the current emotional state you are experiencing now. In my book, The ultimate guide to getting over depression i explained how anyone can become happier by fixing his resultant mood. If twenty things were bothering you at the moment while 10 of them were totally out of your control then you can definitely feel better by changing the 10 that you have control over.

How to Get over These bad Feelings?

If you understand the previous concept then you may have already guessed that fixing one problem that is totally unrelated to your bad mood can make you feel better.

For example if you have lots of problems, like work related stress, exams and a recent break-up but managed to lose some weight in between all of this mess you will end up feeling better even though you still did nothing to solve these problems.

When Small Problems Accumulate they result in bad moods

Many people developed the bad habit of accumulating small problems thinking that they should first deal with the bigger ones first.

This is one reason that lead to bad moods because when simple problems accumulate they make bigger ones even worse. This faulty key in your keyboard, this car you have to fix and this important phone call you have to make will make your big problems worse without you notice.

In short solve your small problems as much as you can and your overall mood will certainly be better.

Accumulated Problems Trigger Bad Moods

You are always in a state of receiving information from the world through your five senses. The more unresolved problems you have the more likely you will receive data that can remind you of these problems and so make you feel down.

For example, being overweight will make it more likely for you to feel bad whenever you pass by a mirror or whenever you over-eat. In this case, over-eating and seeing yourself in the mirror reminded you of one of your accumulated problems (see the thoughts network for more information).

Now imagine that you have ten unsolved problems. What do you think will happen to your mood? You will always come across things that remind you of these problems and the result will be feeling bad most of the time.

Your Body Language affects Your Mood Too

I bet that anyone could be feeling down then find that his back is straight. If you're feeling disappointed, you'll always find that your back is not straight.

This posture has an effect on your emotions too: just like your emotions affect your gestures your gestures affect your emotions. Sit with your back straight for few minutes and you will start to feel better. (Check the body language section for more information).

Falling Prey to Negative Thinking

As soon as we feel down the negative thinking cycle starts. We start to perceive everything incorrectly, we anticipate more problems and as a result we feel even worse.

Any small negligible change may be considered a threat: your torn shoelace will become a great problem and not finding your other shoe will appear to be a gigantic one.

The solution to this problem is to break the cycle of negative thinking. Stop thinking of the new problems and start to think of how to solve the current ones. Don’t fall prey to your thoughts and your imagination but instead master them and don’t let them take control over you.

Know Your Enemy to end your bad moods

Knowing the reason behind your bad mood can be as effective as solving few small problems Simply because not knowing the reason behind your bad feelings is considered another problem which will be reflected in your bad mood too.

So to summarize the actions you need to do to end bad moods: Isolate your problems, start solving them one by one and don’t accumulate small ones. Break the cycle of negative thinking and you will reduce your bad feelings.

Getting over Mood Swings

Getting over Mood Swings

Mood Swings

It feels really bad when you suddenly lose that feeling of happiness you were experiencing and it feels even worse when you start to feel bad or down without any warning signs.

If you are an oversensitive person then you may even be more subject to these kinds of sudden mood fluctuations.

This article will help you prevent these mood swings and it will allow you to significantly extend your periods of happiness.

If you don't know why you experience mood swings in the first place then please read this article before continuing further.

How to Prevent Mood Swings

One very good thing you can do to make mood swings happen less frequently is a technique called “Locking your Emotions”. This technique is based on a realistic assumption which implies that a great number of mood swings happen simply because we tend to persistently search and dig until we find something that makes us feel bad.

Here are some examples:

• A stock market investor who checks the prices of his stocks every hour: this will increase his chance of encountering something that he does not like. After all, some people feel bad even when their stocks drop only a few cents while other people feel disappointed when they find that their stocks didn't increase in price as they expected (see the investment psychology section for more information).
• Someone who always tries to search for clues to prove to himself that he isn't bad looking, boring or unlikeable. Since this is not a prefect world, he will never be able to find exact clues and will just fall prey to his negative thoughts.
• Someone who digs deeply, trying to analyze any criticism he receives to find if there is anything wrong with him.

It's very important not to misunderstand what is being said. I'm not asking you to stop keeping track of your financial matters or to escape from problems but what I am asking you to do is to stop overdoing it because this will increase your chance of getting a mood swing.

Watching the price of your stocks ten times a day or digging behind things that will always make you feel bad will always result in mood swings!!! It will only increase your chance of feeling down and its a totally useless act.

Lock your Emotions

So let’s put it all together. if you feel happy or satisfied try not to do unnecessary actions that can swing your mood and you will find that your state of happiness last for much longer that it used to.

Of course you still must go through daily important tasks and routines but only do them when you have to and not just because you want to dig for more information.

Feeling bad and problem isolation

Feeling bad and problem isolation

So you don't know why you are feeling bad?

In case you are not sure why you are feeling bad or in case you can't single out the main problem that is bothering you from between the many problems that you have there is a very good technique that you can use in order to find out exactly the cause for your bad mood.

The advantage of this technique is that the more you miss your target using it the more benefit will it bring you. wondering how can this happen? Just read further.

how to isolate the major problem that is making you feel bad

Suppose that you were not sure if you were feeling bad because of your poor body image,of the piles of work that you need to finish or because of your recent break-up.

In that case you have to deal with the problems as if they were all the reason for your bad feeling. In other words you should take immediate actions to solve whatever problems you can find even if you are not sure that they are the ones responsible for your bad mood.

For example, if you have the three problems i just mentioned and you were not sure which one is the reason for your bad mood then you just have to work on them all. The solution in such a case would be going to the gym to improve your body image, starting to work hard immediately to finish your piled work and to read few articles about getting over breakups.

Even if the problems you fixed were not the major ones still solving them will help you feel much better. By finishing your accumulated work and improving your body image the real problem (break-up in this case) will be much less painful than if all the problems were piled together.

What if you can't solve your problems quickly?

Don’t worry you don’t have to solve the problem permanently in order to feel good but you just need to start in order to give a signal to your mind to stop the bad feelings.

If your problem, for instance, was related to a poor body image, the negative feeling will almost disappear as soon as you start to go to the gym on regular basis and not when you fix your body shape.

Your mind sends you bad emotions to motivate you to solve your problems and as soon as it finds that you are taking actions these emotions will disappear on their own.

Trying to escape using any method can help you feel good for a short while but on the long term your problems will accumulate and make you feel much worse.

Lets suppose you started drinking in order to escape from your problems. In such a case, drinking will help you as long as you are drunk but when you get sober you will feel worse for two reasons.

The first is that you didn't solve your problems and delayed them even more and the second is that you added a new problem to the list; a bad habit!

Emotions Are Just Messages

Help me…
I am in pain…
I am dying in here…
I can’t handle it anymore…
Do anything……You are the only one who can help….

Your mind is crying and calling you for help. But why you?
Because, you are the only one who can help, because these cries are not coming from a stranger, they are coming from YOU.

Emotions Are Just Messages

All of the unwanted emotions you feel and the bad moods you go through are just messages sent by your mind asking you to take action. The way it makes itself heard may be strange, but it's the only way your subconscious mind knows: It’s by making you feel bad until you take action. Just take a look at these few examples, see what your mind is trying to tell you; so you can understand it better:

• Fear of Darkness: This place may not be safe, get me out of here.
• Loneliness: I need intimacy, expand your relations.
• Hatred: I shouldn’t be with that person. He may harm/bother/attack me. Don’t make me stay with him in the same place.
• Anxiety: I am not sure I will be able to handle that. Make a plan, make me more confident about it.
• Depression: I don’t want to live nor enjoy anything in life until you bring me back what was lost.
• Love: That person is important to me, make sure he/she is always with me.

It's the same with all other feelings: they're just messages, requests to take action, and that's why the emotion disappears the moment a solution appears, even before it is implemented. You must have noticed that when you are starving, your hunger is reduced by half as soon as the first piece of food enters your mouth!

How can this small piece reduce your hunger to that extent? It's Because hunger is a message and the presence of the food is the right response to this message and so it no longer needs to be of the same intensity. Exactly the same happens with anxiety: as soon as you set the plan and write it down, the feelings of anxiety are strongly reduced.

Take action, Respond to the Pleas

In my book, The ultimate guide to getting over depression i explained how ignoring your problems and allowing them to accumulate can be the primary source for depression.

Some people face problems as soon as they encounter them while others bury them deeply in their subconscious minds or throw them behind their backs. When they do so their subconscious minds usually responds back with depression.

If you find someone screaming your name, pleading for help, you will most likely try to help them. What if the pleading person was you? Don't let your subconscious mind's cries for help linger for too long. Take action, do whatever is possible to respond to it's needs.

I don't know why i am feeling like that

Most people feel bad from a time to time without understanding why. While its completely OK to experience few moments where you feel bad without a reason still it becomes a big problem if it started to occur more often.

If you don't know why you are feeling bad then don't worry as there are few steps that can help you understand your unwanted emotions.

Here is how to know why you feel bad

If you feel bad without a reason or without knowing why then one of the following problems might be the cause:

• Emotions are messages: One very important aspect about emotions that you must be aware of is that emotions are just messages sent to you by your mind in order to motivate you to take a certain action. If you feel bad then its time to ask yourself what is your subconscious mind truing to draw your attention to.
• Over sensitivity: over sensitive are subject to mood swings and different bad moods that they can't understand. In addition over sensitive people have more empathy than others, this empathy can sometimes let them feel bad just when they find themselves around someone who is feeling bad or who needs help
• Lack of serotonin: The hormone that regulates the mood and that makes you feel good is called serotonin. Lack of serotonin in your blood can lead to bad moods. The levels of serotonin can be increased by exercising, eating carbohydrates and getting exposed to sunlight
• Identify the big problems: Know that there are usually one or two big problems that can be responsible for your bad mood and the rest are just very small issues that seem big as a result of the many problems you have. Know that you must clearly identify the major problems that are making you feel down while putting aside the small issues. Once you know the big ones you can easily move towards fixing them and the small ones will just disappear

Depression and unsolved problems

In my book, The ultimate guide to getting over depression I explained how ignoring your problems and allowing them to accumulate can be the primary source for depression.

Some people face problems as soon as they encounter them while others bury them deeply in their subconscious minds or throw them behind their backs. When they do so their subconscious minds usually respond back with bad whims and depression.

That's why understanding the real reasons that are causing your bad mood is the most important step towards dealing with depression and feeling good.

I don't know why i am sad

Lots of people send me mails telling me that they don't know why they are feeling sad.

In this era, with the booming use of technology you can hardly find someone who doesn't know how to operate the TV, use a cellphone or even drive a car but unfortunately there is one very important thing that we failed to understand well which is ourselves.

If you don't know why you are feeling sad then put in mind that emotions are just signals sent to you by your mind in order to motivate you to take action.

Just like the car tells you that it needs fuel when its about to run out of it your mind has its own way of telling you about its needs (which is your emotions).

Why to do when you don't know why you are sad

If you feel overwhelmed because you had piles of accumulated work to finish then you will feel good as soon as you start doing your work and not when you finish it.

This happens because the emotion your mind was sending you was just a signal that had the aim of motivating you. The same exactly goes for the bad mood that you don't understand. When you don't know why you are feeling bad then put in mind that your mind is trying to motivate you to do something.

As soon as you respond to your mind's message your bad mood will ease because it will no longer be needed.

feeling bad and knowing the reason

Because many people have learned to ignore their bad moods and to avoid solving their problems they get buried in their subconscious mind.

The key to understand your bad moods and to know the real reason behind them lies in being brave enough to confront all the problems you have been trying to escape from. Try to bring your problems to your consciousness in order to understand them.

Most people try to keep themselves busy or to not think about their problems until they completely forget about them. The problem is that these problems never get forgotten by your subconscious mind but they just lie there and bother you every now and then in the form of a bad mood that you can't understand.

suppressed emotions must leak out somehow

If you insisted on escaping from your problems and suppressing your emotions they will start to leak out on the form of bad dreams, bad feelings that you don't understand or even depression that comes without a reason.

The best Way to get over a bad mood that you don't understand is to find out your unsolved problems then start to solve them one by one until you get over them.